


Wow, That's Kind Of

by Kitt_Monroe



Category: Dangan Ronpa
Genre: Canon Backstory, Gen, Light Angst, Made-Up Backstory, Major spoilers for chapters 1 through 4, Mentioned Amnesia, Mentioned Drugging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-12
Updated: 2014-06-12
Packaged: 2018-02-04 09:01:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1773367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kitt_Monroe/pseuds/Kitt_Monroe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Supposing Mondo didn't go batshit when Chihiro told him her secret.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wow, That's Kind Of

"Everyone's here?"

Twelve pairs of eyes stared, mostly hatefully, up at the bear. The owners of all those eyes all knew exactly what was going to happen--they had been waiting tensely for this exact moment. In fact, around the end of the 24-hour-period, Celes and Togami had started giving the others regular 10-minute updates as to how long it would be before Monobear called them back into the gymnasium. Togami had prided himself greatly on the fact that he had called out "now" the exact instant Monobear's cringe-inducing visage came on the cafeteria monitor, telling them to gather at the gym. "See? I predicted it precisely," the Super High-school Level Heir had decreed as they began to file out of the dining room.

"Did you break a few ribs sucking your own dick?" Oowada had deadpanned in response. Togami declared that question too nauseating to answer.

It had been interesting, in a twisted, discomforting way, to see how each of them progressed into the gymnasium. Oogami, Kirigiri, and Togami had passed through the trophy room like there was nothing to it, all in not-quite-confident-but-not-at-all-nervous strides. Oogami had held the door for everyone else except Fukawa, who demanded Oogami close the door because she would not stand for being patronized so. Then there was a slightly less steely-nerved group, consisting of Celes, Yamada, Naegi, Ishimaru, and Hagakure. It had been a little surprising to some of them that Celes was part of that group; many of them expected the Super High-school Level Gambler, a.k.a. the "Queen of Liars," to at least be able to put on a confident facade and stroll right into the gym. For some reason, though, the distress on her face was all but patent. Finally, Fujisaki, Oowada, Asahina, and Fukawa made their way in, looking nothing short of terrified. "It'll be okay, kid," Oowada mumbled, standing stock-still next to Fujisaki with his eyes wandering aimlessly. "We'll be fine, us two."

So all of them were indeed here. They all mostly spread out around the gym, with a few subgroups evidently having formed: Ishimaru, Oowada, and Fujisaki stood close to each other, all clearly anxious, while Celes and Yamada stood almost uncomfortably close to each other's sides, as if trying to protect each other from the coming onslaught. Asahina was clinging to Oogami, swallowing heavily every couple of seconds, and Naegi and Hagakure stood by each other mostly because there was no one else for them to stand by. Togami, Fukawa, and Kirigiri stood obviously by themselves, though Fukawa kept casting not-at-all-secretive glances in Togami's direction.

The reason for the general air of irritation and worry in the room was fairly understandable. It had been a full day since Teddy Suckspin, as Enoshima had once called him before her tragic and pointless and altogether ridiculous-looking demise, had given them their "second motive." This motive was that if Monobear didn't see a murder in twenty-four hours, he would reveal to the entire world one horribly embarrassing and/or traumatizing secret from each of them. Needless to say, there had been some bad moments between some of them who would desperately have liked to make those secrets stay secrets. Oowada had, with no small amount of shame, confessed to everyone just earlier this morning that he had gotten into it with Fujisaki the night before and seriously considered killing her to protect his secret (he refused to explain _why_ he had gotten into it with her, saying he had a “man’s promise” to keep or something). Fujisaki apparently held no resentment whatsoever toward him for it, which was sort of what everyone expected because she was far too gentle a person to probably hold resentment toward anyone for _anything._ Similarly, Celes had seemed on edge the entire day, and Yamada's persistent pestering her for her secret had clearly not helped ("I FUCKING TOLD YOU I DON'T WANT TO TALK! YOU BAG OF LARD!!" she had raged at top volume after he had insisted several times, in only the second of what was coming to be known among the group as Celes's few and far between but terrifying instances of "breaking character"). Fukawa had clearly not gotten any sleep the previous night, evidenced by almost exaggeratedly bloodshot and half-closed eyes and her being even more pitched and irritable than usual.

Monobear, for all it was worth, seemed slightly disappointed and more than a little hurt that his motive hadn't led to any new deaths. This attitude was made clear by the next thing the bear said when they entered the room: "You know, I'm a little disappointed and more than a little hurt that my motive hasn't led to any new deaths!"

Otherwise the students pretty much had to extrapolate how he was feeling.

"I'll be collecting your paper slips now," Monobear explained. He had told them in his intercom announcement to all bring the small slips of paper he had originally handed out that detailed each of their secrets. When the slight but menacing bear went around to take each of the papers, yet another mode of detecting how nervous each of them was presented itself: Fukawa, for example, had obviously gripped her paper so tightly at one point (presumably after first reading it) that it now had a multitude of creases and looked slightly like an unfolded paper airplane. Hagakure's palm sweat had very unattractively gotten all over his paper, and Asahina's showed signs of having been crumpled up into a ball, perhaps for tossing angrily at a wall. Once Monobear had all of the slips back, he returned to the raised platform at the head of the gymnasium.

"As you all know, the motive this time was designed to play to your paranoia over the idea that somebody might discover the most unappealing things about you. _Clearly,_ none of you were affected!"

They all knew, that Monobear knew that was bullshit. The bear was able to see everything that happened in the school, so of course he knew many of them _had_ been affected by the motive. "I guess you guys are just too strong to fall victim to this motive. And I guess Maizono-san was just too weak! Upupupu..."

Everyone saw Naegi's fists clench just a little tighter at that. He and the Super High-school Level Idol had displayed an everyone-can-see-it infatuation with each other since they had first arrived at the school. Though Maizono had turned out to be playing him the entire time in a poorly planned and ultimately foiled attempt to frame him for murder, in her dying moments she had left a message in her own blood exonerating Naegi and indicating her actual murderer, which Naegi had predictably wanted to take as a sign that she still cared for him after all. So for Monobear to call her weak was a little more than Naegi could bear. Still, he wasn't stupid enough to pull an Enoshima and attack the bear head-on.

"Not cool, Monobear," Hagakure complained with a sigh.

"Yeah, show some respect for the dead!" Oowada seethed.

"What makes you think I would do that?" Monobear wondered with an inquisitive expression that must have been programmed into his set of facial expressions because it was the same inquisitive expression he always used when the situation called for it.

"Can we get on with it?" Kirigiri requested, and her tone betrayed just a touch of dread.

"Sure, sure!" Monobear agreed. "Now, I will read these cards one by one, in no particular order. I will give a period after each card for you to react to the information, and hopefully I'll see some real despair coming over you bastards!"

"It's not going to work," Naegi assured him. "We made it through the whole day, didn't we?"

"Give it time!" Monobear retorted. "Now, if there are no further useless remarks, let's get to revealing these terrible, juicy secrets to the world!"

"Wait," Togami interrupted, "how exactly are you revealing all of this to the outside world?"

"I have my methods!" Monobear replied inconclusively. "Anybody else? No?"

"I changed my mind, can I kill someone now?" Celes queried from the back of the crowd. Everyone turned to stare at her and were met by a deadened glare on the gambler's face.

"Not how it works, Celes-san!" Monobear explained. "I gave you bastards twenty-four hours to kill someone, and it's now been...twenty-four hours and eleven minutes! You're too late, folks!"

The bear then raised a single claw with a clearly miffed expression (even though Monobear's facial features didn't move, it was somehow obvious what emotion he was trying to portray at any given moment) and concluded, "Now, I won't have any more interruptions! We're getting to these secrets!"

Everyone was silent. Monobear cleared his throat and shuffled the cards. When he looked down at the top one on the stack, he snickered a little. "First up!"

Everyone braced themselves for the terrifying possibility that theirs might the first secret revealed. "Listening?" Monobear asked. "Okay. Ahem: 'Makoto Naegi wet his bed until the 5th grade.'"

The room was silent for several seconds, punctuated only by a "wow, that's kind of" from Asahina. Naegi stared down at the floor, his face transitioning in a couple of seconds from the color of actual human skin to the color of a firetruck.

Monobear cleared his throat again. "Really? No reaction?" he wondered with some disappointment in his voice.

"Are you sure?" Kirigiri asked, blinking several times in a few seconds. Her tone was almost irritated, and her expression looked a little cheated.

"How would I not be sure?" Monobear demanded. "Are you questioning my research?"

"Actually, yes," Kirigiri answered, raising an eyebrow. "Are you seriously telling us that that is the worst secret Naegi-kun has?"

Naegi turned to stare at her, not bothering to conceal the confusion on his face. "Out of his entire seventeen years, you're telling us enuresis is the most mortifying thing that ever happened to him?" Kirigiri rephrased.

"Sorry to have to break it to you, but it's the truth!" Monobear cackled. "I'm sorry Naegi-kun's secret isn't as delectably embarrassing as yours, Kirigiri-san, but them's the breaks! I guess it's probably just because Naegi-kun is such a depressingly average person that he has such a depressingly average secret!"

Monobear's choice of words there wasn't the most flattering, but it told the group two things: that Naegi's secret was the least embarrassing of all of them, and that it was only going to get worse from here.

"Secret number two!" Monobear went on. "Ahem: 'Kiyotaka Ishimaru--'" who gasped as soon as his name was called--"'stole to feed his family when he was younger!'"

Ishimaru had crumpled to the floor by the time Monobear was finished speaking. It was heartrending to see him do that--the Super High-school Level Hall Monitor had been the one to originally suggest they go around revealing their secrets, presuming that that way at least they wouldn't have to worry about each other. So to see Ishimaru so blatantly affected by his own secret was astonishing and very sad. "It's okay, kyoudai," Oowada told him, using an only moderate volume rather than his usual complete-opposite-of-an-indoor-voice. "You got nothing to be ashamed of, man."

"I'm a delinquent," Ishimaru replied miserably. "I broke the law, I'm a failure..."

"Now _that's_ what I like to see!" Monobear approved, giving a sigh of relief. "Good old-fashioned self-loathing and despair!"

"Y-you're a monster!" Fujisaki cried, having bent down on both knees to comfort Ishimaru and giving Monobear the closest thing she had in her arsenal to a glare. "Ishimaru-kun doesn't deserve to have to feel bad about this, b-but...but you're making him feel awful...!"

"Well, if Ishimaru-kun really feels so bad about it, there's an easy solution!" Monobear answered. "Just stop feeling bad about it!"

"You're fucking ridiculous!" Oowada yelled, also getting on one knee and patting Ishimaru's back a few times. "You think people just stop feeling bad about things?! You think people just fucking get over things, fucker?!"

"Ooh, I'm detecting hostility, Oowada-kun!" Monobear observed. "Could it be because you know what _your_ secret is, and you know _you_ haven't gotten over it?"

"Shut up, you asshole!" Oowada commanded, standing up and clutching one fist in the other hand.

"N-no, Oowada-kun, please don't..." Fujisaki reminded him, tugging on his jacket. Oowada grinded his teeth before letting his arms fall to his sides.

"You should probably thank Fujisaki-san for that, Oowada-kun," Monobear mused. "Okay, next person... Oh! This is a good one!"

A few of them, having gauged from the "quality" of the secrets so far that to Monobear, "a good one" could only be theirs, tensed up with mostly horrified expressions. "Ready?" Monobear asked. "Okay. Ahem: 'Touko Fukawa has a second personality, a serial murderer she can't control.'"

It was like the entire world shifted away from Fukawa. Not just the other students, but it seemed as if the gym itself tried to move away from her. Togami alone didn't move.

"Is this true, Fukawa?" Oogami asked after a few moments.

Fukawa had already taken her glasses off and was sobbing relentless into her own sleeve. "I-I..." was her only response.

"That's right, Fukawa-san has multiple personality disorder, and her other personality is a serial killer!" Monobear repeated. "You may have heard of Genocider Syo? Upupupupu!"

"Genocider Syo? I've heard of that person, but..." Celes trailed off.

"Somehow, I always assumed Genocider Syo was a man!" Asahina added. "Fukawa-chan, is that really you??"

"You gotta be shitting me!" Oowada contributed helpfully.

"It's all true," Togami explained. "Fukawa spoke with me about it last night."

"Whoa man, what were you and Fukawa-chi doing together last night?" Hagakure asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Please don't ever level that eyebrow at me again," Togami ordered. Hagakure promptly switched to the other eyebrow. "She came to my room last night and more or less spilled her entire life story on my carpet. She convinced me to promise not to reveal her secret to any of you, but I guess that doesn't really matter now, does it?"

"Fukawa-san, is this...really..." Naegi murmured, not really actually asking anything.

"I-it's not even r-really anything..." Fukawa whimpered. "I m-mean, it barely has any effect...on my l-life."

"That's not what you told me," Togami cut her off, clearly annoyed. "Really, Fukawa, try to own up to your problems."

Fukawa didn't elaborate, so Togami subbed in for her. "She frequently wakes up in random places she doesn't know with dead people in front of her and has to run to avoid being detected. Psychological and forensic profiling have already determined that Genocider Syo is a high school student and probably has split personality, so Fukawa is troubled by the fact that the police are pretty much closing in on her."

Fukawa sobbed a little harder at that. "I-I'm sorry I never told you..." she mumbled. "I just know th-that now you all h-h-hate me...so I d-didn't want you to know..."

"Hate you?" Fujisaki repeated, shocked.

"Fukawa Touko-dono, how could you say that?" Yamada pressed in an overly dramatic voice.

"Wh-what...?" Fukawa asked with wide eyes.

"C'mon, Fukawa-chan, we could never hate you!" Asahina cheered. "You're our friend, after all! And I mean, it's not like you've been violent with any of us, so it's not even a problem!"

"Y-you d-don't understand..." Fukawa insisted, backing away. "Once Syo g-gets going, I c-can't...I can't control her at all...!"

"But she hasn't got going so far, has she?" Hagakure reminded her. "So it's probably a safe bet to assume she won't, right?"

Fukawa just lay back against a wall, looking nervously from side to side.

"Well, that didn't go anywhere _near_ as badly as I'd hoped," Monobear lamented. "Oh well! Let's get to the next person! Ahem: 'Hifumi Yamada was almost suicidally depressed as a child before discovering the world of doujin.'"

Everybody turned to look at Yamada, who hung his head low and covered his face with one hand. "Dude, that's...that's heavy," Oowada noted.

"It doesn't _really_ matter," Yamada assured them. "I just wasn't a very happy boy is all."

"That's pathetic," Togami muttered, rolling his eyes.

"Hey!" Ishimaru called, having returned to his feet by now and resumed being the group hardass. "Togami-kun, you will not trivialize Yamada-kun's prior troubles!"

"Oh, won't I?" Togami asked in monotone. "You don't think it's a little childish that the only thing that saved him from apparently clinical depression was manga?"

"I wouldn't criticize, Togami-kun!" Monobear chuckled. "After all, your secret's still to come, and I wouldn't want to be you if Yamada-kun wants revenge! Upupupu..."

Togami crossed his arms and didn't say anything else.

"No, it's alright..." Yamada sighed. "I guess it _is_ silly when you look it at like that. It's just that, doujin was my only respite from everything else in the world. The kids at my junior high would tease me for my weight, and I didn't have a happy family life...so it just made things better reading about the exploits of my favorite characters."

"I don't think I've ever actually felt sorry for Yamada before," Asahina mused with a slightly shocked expression.

"But I'm better now!" Yamada assured them, raising a fist in the air triumphantly. "You don't have to worry about me!"

"I really wish you bastards would be more traumatized by what's being said here!" Monobear growled. "I mean, these are the worst things that you've ever done or had happen to you! I'd think you'd be a little more crushed!"

"Well, obviously you underestimated our wills," Kirigiri told him, somewhat smugly.

"Fine! Let's see how our next victim deals with this!" Monobear announced. "Let's see our next card... Okay! Ahem: 'Aoi Asahina--'" the Super High-school Level Swimmer tensed up and made an "eep" sound--"'once slipped drugs into her opponents' drinking water at a swim meet so she would win!'"

The room became even more quiet than the silence that had already pervaded it. "Asahina?" Oogami asked, and for probably the first time since they had arrived at the school, the others saw a genuinely shocked expression darken the wrestler's features. More than likely because it _was_ Asahina, whom Oogami seemed to greatly care about and who seemed to reciprocate those feelings, Oogami looked uncharacteristically stunned by this news.

There seemed to be a pattern in the reactions of the helpless souls whose secrets had been revealed so far: all the students seemed accountably ready for the moment theirs might be read, but as soon as the secret was out, they were clearly mortified. Asahina was no exception; she quickly became a blubbering mess and tried to turn away from the entire crowd only to discover that there were people on all sides of her. "Look, I just..." she trailed off.

"Asahina-san, please don't think what you've done is unforgivable," Kirigiri assured her. "Recognize that there is no way we could judge you for something in your past, even if we _weren't_ all hearing our worst secrets revealed as well."

Asahina nodded slightly and swallowed deeply before taking a deep breath and saying the following in one breath: "Look, okay, it was this really important meet, the _last_ one of the school year, and I hadn't gotten any sleep at all the night before because I was so nervous and afraid I was going to do badly and screw up for my school that I couldn't even make myself go to sleep no matter _how_ many donuts I had and when it was morning I knew that if I went to the meet I was going to lose but I _couldn't_ lose because then my entire team would hate me and the coaches would be disappointed so I just--" she took a comically deep breath--"I put some stuff in the other girls' water, not even stuff that would knock them out or even have any really bad effects, just slow them down a little, you know? I just..." She hung her head and cupped her hands over her face. "I just wanted to win so bad..."

"Asahina, I have observed your talents. You could have won even without hindering your opponents' performance," Oogami sighed, sounding slightly disapproving but mostly trying to comfort the swimmer.

"I...I'm sorry, Sakura-chan," Asahina said in a voice just barely above a whisper, clinging again to Oogami.

"Well that was a nice, despair-inducing episode!" Monobear cheered. "But let's get to the next person! Let's see...aw, shucks. I would've liked to save this one 'till the end because it's _so outstanding,_ but I guess we'll do it now."

He let a dramatic pause fill the room, and the students waited, some nervously, some bearing pity for the ones who hadn't had theirs told yet. "Here goes! 'Instead of being more manly--'" Fujisaki instantly burst into tears and clutched at the arm of Oowada, who patted her shoulder softly-- "'Chihiro Fujisaki wears woman's clothes!'"

The confusion wasn’t even subtle. There was much rapid blinking of eyes and clearing of throats and whispers of “What?” as well as Togami almost immediately saying “how interesting” to himself and Kirigiri murmuring “well that makes sense.”

“I do not understand!” Ishimaru protested. “Why would it matter if Fujisaki-san would not choose to be m--” he paused in the middle of the word with suddenly wide eyes--”a-anly...”

As the realization spread across each face individually, the only sound for some time was Fujisaki crying quietly against Oowada’s arm. At no point did Oowada display an expression of sudden realization, and the other students were sooner or later able to deduce that was because he already knew.

“Do you mean to say Fujisaki Chihiro-dono is really...?” Yamada inquired.

“Fujisaki-san is actually a boy?” Naegi finished for him.

“That doesn’t even make any sense!” Asahina insisted, tears from a minute and a half ago still attempting to dry on her face. “Fujisaki-chan, how would you even be able to hide that from us?”

“Question,” Monobear declared. “Did any of you ever happen to see Fujisaki-kun go into the changing rooms?”

“What’s that got to do with anything?” Hagakure demanded as if Monobear had asked a question as relevant as what brand of ketchup they most preferred.

“If any of us had ever watched Fujisaki go into the changing rooms, we would have noticed his ElectroID would only permit him to access the boys’ changing room,” Togami explained in as arrogantly professorial a tone as if he had studied this exact topic for most of the waking moments of his entire life. “He wouldn’t be allowed into the girls’ room because, despite what we’ve thought all this time, Fujisaki isn’t a girl.”

“Well...” Fujisaki mumbled.

“Fujisaki-chan--er...wait,” Asahina stammered. “What do I call you, exactly...?”

“Probably a freak, right?” Fujisaki presumed, speaking into Oowada’s sleeve, and a good number of them instantly noticed her voice drop several tones in pitch as she continued speaking. “I mean, it’s not natural, is it? For someone to be like me?”

“Oh for God’s sake don’t be stupid,” Togami scolded her. “I know you’re not fishing for sympathy, but stop feeling sorry for yourself.”

“Hey, fucker!” Oowada yelled, taking a step toward him with Fujisaki in tow. “You wanna say that again? I dare you to fucking insult Fujisaki again.”

“I’m not trying to insult him,” Togami replied flatly. “Frankly, _I’m_ insulted if he seriously thinks of us as such bigoted people that we now see him as a freak because we know this.”

“Y-yeah, it’s like Byakuya-sama said...” Fukawa agreed, clicking her fingernails together with a rather bitter expression. “I-I mean, Fujisaki, y-you must have a r-really warped vision of us to...th-think that.”

“Correct,” Celes added. “I believe I speak for all of us when I say there is nothing unwholesome about a person who changes their gender to fit their own personal needs.”

“That’s actually the thing I’m wondering about,” Naegi noted. “Uh...I guess I don’t know how to ask this, but, Fujisaki-san, what actually _is_ your gender? How do you want us to call you from now on?”

Fujisaki by now had lifted her head from Oowada’s jacket and was gaping (that was really the only proper word to describe it) at everyone else. “I-I...” she stuttered, seeming nothing short of flabbergasted at the idea that none of them hated her now. “I guess... Um, I’ve started training with Oowada-kun to be stronger, and...well, I’d like to be a boy from now on.”

“Asked and answered!” Ishimaru announced. “Then, from here on, Fujisaki-kun will be a boy, and we shall refer to him as such!”

“It might take some getting used to, but I’ll get the hang of it!” Asahina affirmed with a wide smile.

“Aw, you guys took away Chihiro-tan,” Yamada sighed; an acid glare from Celes caused him to straighten his shoulders and add, “B-but of course I support Fujisaki Chihiro-dono in his personal choices!”

“Gahhhhhhh!” Monobear wailed, pounding the floor with his fists like a small child would do. "Stop being so happy! This is supposed to be my reward for the day!"

"Well, too bad," Naegi replied with narrowed eyes. "Sorry, Monobear, but you just have to realize your motive isn't working."

"Not so fast, Naegi-kun!" Monobear laughed as he switched to the next card. "You may all want to hold onto your undergarments for this one!"

The six students whose secrets had already been told assumed appropriately compassionately worried expressions, and the six whose secrets were still unknown became understandably tense. "Damn!" Monobear exclaimed, still looking down at the card. "This one is so fantastic, we might just have to take a break! You know, up the suspense?"

"I think we would all prefer if you would tell us now," Celes cooed with a darling smile.

Monobear didn't look impressed. "Actually, I think I like _my_ plan better," he decided. "I think we'll take a short intermission before we get back to our secrets!"

"How about you just say it now?" Celes disagreed, pulling at a strand of her hair.

"Celes-san, I don't think--" Monobear began.

"JUST FUCKING SAY IT!" Celes screeched, brandishing the weird metal armor thing she had on her right index finger in what was possibly her way of flipping people off.

Monobear stepped back a couple paces, as if physically blown back by the force of Celes's fury. "Fine, fine! We'll do it now! Everybody listening? Okay. 'Kyouko Kirigiri is currently suffering amnesia and has no idea who she is.'"

Asahina gasped, Hagakure let out a soft "whoa," and Oogami bowed her head in Kirigiri's direction. Naegi went for a more direct approach: "What the hell does he mean you have amnesia?"

"The tact master," Togami dubbed him.

"It's true," Kirigiri admitted with a slight shrug, but her voice was more than a little daunted. "I have no recollection of a number of things about myself, including my family, a good part of my childhood, and..."

"And?" Yamada prompted.

"K-Kirigiri-san, it's okay..." Fujisaki assured her. "Whatever it is, we won't...think any less of you."

Kirigiri sighed. "My talent."

"Your talent?" Ishimaru repeated. "Kirigiri-kun, what do you mean?"

"My Super High-school Level talent," Kirigiri clarified. "I don't remember what it is."

The gym went dead silent. This was a rather serious issue, perhaps unreasonably so, but it made sense to the students. At Hope's Peak Academy, there was a mentality among the students that one's Super High-school Level talent was something of a badge of honor, a reminder to everyone else that one _deserved_ to be at the most prestigious school in the country and possibly the world. And even though their high school lives had turned into this soul-crushing death match without their consent, it still felt important for them to have their talents. Maybe because it was the one thing they were allowed to really keep going into this School Life of Mutual Killing.

So for Kirigiri not to have hers--or, more accurately, to have hers but have no clue what it might be--made her suddenly a bit of an outcast among the group. Even Naegi, who had only gotten into the school by his own luck, still had a talent and knew very well what it was.

"That's surprising," Celes supposed.

"Well, that's okay, Kirigiri-chi!" Hagakure laughed. "I mean, there's no big deal about that, is there?"

"It's only a problem if you feel insecure about it, Kirigiri-kun!" Ishimaru noted in an attempt to be somewhat more realistic. "None of us think of you any differently, but you must be able to accept it yourself!"

"H-he's right," Fukawa mumbled. "I m-mean...we c-can go around telling you it's f-f-fine, but...if you don't think s-so, there's no point and you'll p-probably just be mad and n-not want to be around us...!"

"I'm not mad at you," Kirigiri answered. "And it doesn't really bother me. It was upsetting to me for a little while, when we first came here, but I'm over it now. So, really, it doesn't even qualify as a 'bad secret,' does it?"

Naegi left Hagakure to himself and joined Kirigiri in the corner of the room she had chosen to inhabit.

"Okay, this is starting to _really_ piss me off!" Monobear yelled, lunging forward with teeth bared. "And, trust me, you do not want to be pissing me off!"

"D-do your worst," Fukawa challenged. "Also, y-you smell bad."

Monobear just stood there for a moment, clearly stunned by this information. "Okay, next person!" he announced suddenly, switching to the next card. "...OH!"

The cry Monobear gave was much louder than anything the students had really ever heard from him up until now. Many of them flinched back. "We've got a winner, folks!! We've got the big one!"

The five of them remaining wore varying expressions: Oogami and Togami remained relatively calm, Hagakure starting whispering what sounded like occult chants, while Celes and Oowada both widened their eyes in terror. "I mean, you do _not_ wanna miss hearing this one! Listen up, you bastards!"

Asahina clung a little tighter to Oogami, as if to protect her; Yamada took a couple steps to the left to stand slightly in front of Celes, possibly to ensure no one would see her reaction if it was particularly disastrous; Fujisaki rested his head on Oowada's arm and whispered, "It's okay, Oowada-kun, don't worry..."

"Ahem! Ahemhemhem. 'Mondo Oowada killed his own brother!'"

Oowada's hand clapped over his face. Fujisaki sighed a breaking, choppy sigh and wrapped both his arms around Oowada, as if to create a barrier between Oowada and everyone else. "It's okay, kid..." Oowada breathed.

Fukawa began to hyperventilate, and Yamada took a few steps in the opposite direction he had before so he was now _behind_ Celes. "Um..." Ishimaru cut the silence, letting the word drag on for a while.

"Survivor guilt," Kirigiri declared.

"What?" Togami demanded.

"Survivor guilt," Kirigiri repeated helpfully. "Look at him. That's not the guilt of a person who genuinely, malevolently killed another person, it's the guilt of a person who accidentally survived at another person's expense."

"A-Aniki..." Ishimaru stammered. "Is this...true?"

"Of course it's true!" Monobear interjected. "I said it, didn't I?"

"Shut up, fucker!" Oowada roared. "Just fucking shut up, this is _my_ fucking secret, _I_ explain it, not you!!"

Everyone except Fujisaki and Ishimaru moved a little away from him. Some of them didn't even take a step back, just leaned back a little. "Yeah, it's true..." he affirmed in a much quieter voice. "My...my big brother."

He stopped there, but nobody interrupted, knowing he had more to say. "Daiya," he elaborated. "My brother Daiya was the leader of the gang before me."

Everyone knew what "the gang" meant; the Super High-school Level Motorcycle Gang Leader had never talked a lot about his gang, but it was well-known and well-respected/feared throughout the country. "When he stepped down as leader...he wanted me to succeed him, but..."

Oowada stopped again, letting out a distressed grunt and closing his eyes tightly. "But the other guys didn't like it. They thought since I was just the punkass younger brother I could never be as good."

"It's irritating having to live in the shadow of older siblings," Togami noted, his expression a bit clouded.

"Well, I thought I'd try to prove to them that I could run the gang just as good as Daiya, prove I was just as strong as him," Oowada went on. "So...I challenged him to a bike race."

"I'm sorry, when does the killing part happen here?" Yamada asked, adjusting his glasses vacantly.

"I'm gettin' to it, asswipe," Oowada grumbled. "So, I challenged him to a bike race, okay? We set a track through the city, and I was all set to crush him. That way I'd prove to the guys I was stronger than Daiya, and they'd welcome me as the leader, right?"

"Oh no..." Asahina whispered.

"What happened?" Ishimaru asked apprehensively.

Oowada stared at the floor with Fujisaki still hugging him tightly. "We were almost halfway through the track...and I guess I got on the wrong side of the road, and suddenly there was this hugeass supply truck heading right at me."

"And, Daiya...?" Oogami asked with knowing hesitation.

"He ran me off the road so I wouldn't be hit," Oowada explained. "He... I don't think we could ever have gotten him to a hospital in time."

He took a few deep, shaky breaths after that. "It's okay, Oowada-kun..." Fujisaki told him, squeezing him just a little tighter.

"Yeah, I mean, you didn't even mean to do it, right?" Asahina assumed. "From how you told it, it was obviously an accident, and you wouldn't feel this bad about it after this long if you had meant to kill him, y'know?"

Oowada gritted his teeth. "But...even so...!" he groaned.

"But nothing, Aniki!" Ishimaru interrupted, back again to his usual high energy. "You mustn't blame yourself for an event that was only partly your fault and a complete accident! Your brother's death was tragic, of course! But you must forgive yourself!"

Oowada blinked at him a couple times and then sighed. "I've tried," he replied.

"You must try harder!" Ishimaru persisted, putting a hand on his shoulder. "You are a good person, Aniki, and you must recognize that!"

"He's right, Oowada-kun," Fujisaki added, separating himself from Oowada and directing at him a near-signature puppy-faced smile.

Oowada pulled harshly at his hair with one hand. "Jesus fuck, you guys," he muttered. "I don't even know where you guys could possibly have come from, but thanks for...everything you said."

"He clearly still feels guilty!" Monobear observed. "I guess I'll have to settle for that. Okay, next person!"

There were only four of them left. By now, the eight who had been humiliated so far had, mostly subconsciously, formed a bit of a loose, nearly indetectable circle around the ones who still had to have their secrets read. Hagakure crossed his arms defensively, staring up at Monobear with the closest thing he could muster to genuine loathing on his face; Celes clutched at her left arm with her right and blew out streams of air periodically; Oogami looked as stoic as ever but allowed Asahina to hold her hand for support; and Togami tugged subtly at his weird military tie with increasing frequency.

"Oh no, that won't do!" Monobear complained upon seeing the next card. "I _really_ have to save this one until the end, I just _have_ to." He shifted the card to the bottom of the stack and nodded approvingly at the new top card. "Okay, here it is! 'Yasuhiro Hagakure accidentally destroyed his junior high school three different times, so he was left back three grades!'"

"Huh?" Asahina immediately demanded. Truth be told, this was one of the less awful secrets they had heard recently, and it allowed for the others to make sounds and ask what it meant without much hesitation. The fortune teller had told them upon first meeting them that "all sorts of things happened and I got held back three grades," and that was why he was twenty when the rest of them were seventeen--but he had never explained what that stuff that happened was.

"How the fuck did you destroy your junior high _three different times?_ " Oowada asked, almost laughing but mostly bewildered.

"I was experimenting with stuff," Hagakure explained, his forehead in the palm of his left hand. "I thought I would be a chemist when I was first going into junior high. So after school, I would do experiments with...you know, chemicals and chemistry and...that kinda stuff."

"'That kinda stuff,'" Celes repeated with a slightly mocking tone. "Impressive."

"Well anyway, long story short, I blew up the entire school three years in a row," Hagakure concluded. "Luckily, I never ended up actually killing anyone, 'cause I always did my experiments when no one else was in the building, but...it wasn't a good three years. Finally they just banned me from ever entering the chemistry lab again, which was probably why I actually managed to graduate."

"So, you decided to go from chemist to fortune teller," Kirigiri summarized. "...Yeah, that makes total sense."

"It was my second choice for a career, okay?" Hagakure defended.

"Bet you feel pretty stupid, though, huh?" Monobear asked. "Yeah, you probably do! And that's enough for me! Everybody ready for the next one?"

"Can't you stop now?" Togami demanded. "Clearly, these aren't affecting us that badly. I mean, we have a few bruised egos here and there, but aren't you tired? Your motive failed, Monobear."

"Oh, you'd love to stop now, wouldn't you, Togami-kun!" Monobear giggled. "Since you know there's a one-in-three chance of yours being next! Unfortunately, you don't just get an out! Upupupu..."

Togami glared at Monobear for a moment. "Whatever," he muttered, looking to the side.

"Okay, next up is..." Monobear continued. "Oh, how ironic! 'Byakuya Togami's family and personal money are a house of cards and he could lose it at any moment.'"

"Eugh," Togami groaned, chewing the inside of his cheek.

"Togami Byakuya-dono, is that really true?" Yamada wondered, cleaning his glasses with a Booko print lens cloth.

"I seriously didn't expect that," Asahina confessed. "I mean, you always seem so confident about your...banking-ly stuff."

"Well, yes, it's true," Togami answered coldly. "It's insecure in every respect, and the holes are almost impossible to close."

"But you would never be able to tell anyone that, wouldn't you?" Naegi figured. "I mean, if word got out the Togami conglomerate's money was--"

"On thin ice?" Togami cut him off. "We'd be in Hell."

"For someone as concerned about his reputation as you, Togami-kun, I'm a little surprised you didn't try to kill anyone," Kirigiri commented bluntly.

"So am I," Togami deadpanned.

"How would that even happen, Togami-kun?" Ishimaru asked. "How could your entire assets come to be like that?"

"We have debts with the wrong people, and we're owed debts by people who won't pay them," Togami explained curtly. "It's a domino effect--if just one of our creditors demands what they deserve, the entire collection of them will descend on us, or if just one of our debtors pays us, everyone we owe will notice and we'll be dead on the spot."

"B-Byakuya-sama..." Fukawa murmured with a shocked face. She ran over to him and wrapped her arms around him. "Byakuya-sama, it's okay--"

"That is quite enough of that," Togami interrupted, using a wealth of strength none of the others knew he had to remove Fukawa from his person. "I never said it _wasn't_ okay. In fact, I'm not disturbed by it."

"Togami-kun, really?" Fujisaki asked. "I-I mean...this is something really big, and..."

"I said, it doesn't matter," Togami snapped. "If bad goes to worse, I'm perfectly capable of collecting my own money, getting a real job. I'm not some spoiled, unskilled kid who relies entirely on his family's money; I have more than enough brainpower to work independently."

"Even faced with the prospect of losing all of his money, Togami-kun can't even fathom that he might lose," Celes remarked with a grin. "That's a very unique trait."

"It's one you share, actually," Togami retorted. "Isn't it you who's always nattering on and on about how you're incapable of losing a bet?"

"Nattering?" Celes repeated with a vaguely smaller grin.

"Okay, we're getting off subject!" Monobear cut in. "It seems like Togami-kun has suffered an appropriate amount of despair at the idea of all of his money disappearing, regardless of the confident face he might wear! So we're going to move on to the next to last person!"

Celes and Oogami both returned their attention to Monobear. Everyone at this point kept in mind that whoever it was whose secret was revealed next, the other girl had apparently the worst secret of all, seeing as Monobear had elected to place it in the back. So, funny enough, they both more than likely were hoping theirs _was_ the next secret to be told.

The other ten focused on Celes and Oogami, preparing to comfort whoever was embarrassed next. "Okay, everyone ready? This one's a doozy!" Monobear announced.

Because they were closest to her, Togami, Fukawa, Hagakure, and of course Yamada crowded just a little closer to Celes--whereas Kirigiri, Naegi, Oowada, Ishimaru, Fujisaki, and of course Asahina crowded closer to Oogami. "Here we go! Ahem: 'Celestia Ludenberg's true identity is Taeko Yasuhiro, a thoroughly boring girl with no romantic qualities!'"

Celes put one hand over her eyes and began trembling softly. Yamada began rubbing her shoulder and just nodded slightly. "Jesus," Oowada remarked.

"Celes-san..." Naegi mumbled. "What does Monobear mean by that?"

Celes shook her head subtly. "No, I...I can't..." she answered, her voice catching slightly.

"If you don't, I will!" Monobear cackled. "Ah, the relief! We've finally got some real despair going on here!"

Yamada whispered something in Celes's ear, and Celes nodded. "Don't do it, Monobear," Yamada then ordered. "I will take the liberty of telling Celestia Ludenberg-dono's secret in her place!"

"You know what it is, Yamada-kun?" Ishimaru figured, looking somewhat surprised.

"Of course!" Yamada replied proudly. "She was gracious enough to reveal her secret to her favorite boy!"

"I doubt you're even her favorite of all the boys she knows named Yamada," Togami muttered. Fukawa stifled a laugh.

"Celestia Ludenberg-dono's real name is Taeko Yasuhiro," Yamada continued, adding a great deal of hardly necessary flair to each of his statements. "When she was younger, she found her life was too simple, and her family lived in poverty. But she could not abide by this! Yasuhiro Taeko-dono, she knew she was destined for greater things! In fact, what she wanted most of all was to be a pretty princess in a beautiful castle. It was her one grand dream that she absolutely _had_ to make come true! So, she began wearing red contact lenses and a lot of white foundation to give her face a mysterious, gothic appeal, and in looking for an impressive talent to make enough money for her dream, Yasuhiro Taeko-dono discovered--my goodness! She was an excellent gambler! The perfect talent to add to her decadent, mysterious persona. And so! Celestia Ludenberg was born!"

"Wow," Asahina commented. "Uh...Celes-chan, that doesn't sound so bad? Is it just something you're really insecure about, or...?"

Celes nodded, removing her hand from her face. "It is just that...I so disliked my true self, that Taeko Yasuhiro. She was completely uninteresting and had no special features, and nobody liked her in primary school. She was...everything I did not want to be."

"Transforming into another person entirely, then, must have been a saving measure," Oogami deduced. "It was the only way to have the life you desired."

"But Celes-san..." Fujisaki added, wringing his hands. "Your true self...don't you think she would be a better person to be, around your new friends...?"

Celes took a deep breath and held it for a few seconds before letting it back out. "Maybe, someday," she answered. "I do not believe I can go back to being Taeko yet."

"You've been Celestia Ludenberg for so long that it would feel uncomfortable to show us another side of you now," Kirigiri realized. "Well, if that's the case, I at least would much rather you feel comfortable in your own identity than have to sacrifice that to show us your 'true' identity."

"I agree!" Hagakure cheered. "Celes-chi should do whatever is right for her!"

"I promise, someday--and maybe someday not far from now--I may have the courage to be who I actually am," Celes assured them, her darling smile returning. "For now, I thank you all for your support."

"S-so you'll go on b-being Celes," Fukawa summed up. "I-I guess it _is_ a nice name. N-not _great,_ but..."

"Alright!" Monobear announced, effectively reminding the students of his existence. "Last student! Obviously, you all know who it is, but I promise you you aren't prepared for her secret! No siree! Upupupu...!"

Oogami crossed her arms and stared directly at Monobear. Everyone else watched her both curiously and apprehensively. "It's time for them all to know, Oogami-san!" Monobear went on.

"What do you mean, 'for us all to know?'" Asahina asked with furrowed eyebrows.

"You see, you bastards, Oogami-san has a _really_ important secret! Even important to me, really!" Monobear explained. "And now you all get to know what it is!"

He took what appeared to be a big, dramatic breath. As he began the first syllable, however, Oogami's voice rang out much louder than his. "I have been working for Monobear for the past four days," she said before hanging her head.

"Hey, _no fair!_ " Monobear yelled. "I'm the one who humiliates all of you!"

"S-Sakura-chan?!" Asahina demanded, taking a step away from her.

"I have been working as a mole for Monobear since the first night after we got here, because he threatened to obliterate my family's dojo and my entire family with it if I did not cooperate," Oogami went on. "However, I am aware I cannot excuse my actions through any sort of rationalization, even if it was to protect my family. I have betrayed all of you, and I am deeply regretful."

"Sakura-chan...!" Asahina repeated, her eyes moving all over the place.

"I accept fully if any of you no longer wish to associate with me," Oogami continued. "I made a hasty decision, and I realize it was the wrong one. I should not have fallen for Monobear's tricks, but at the time I could not bear the thought of my family being hurt."

The room was silent for a moment. "However," Oogami said after nobody else spoke, "I have made a new decision. Monobear, I refuse to cooperate with you any further. After all, even _if_ you truly are able to seek out my family's dojo, secluded as it is, I assure you that any forces you may wreak upon my family will not stand a chance. The strength of the Oogami clan is unparalleled, and I regret the fate of any soldiers or machines that may attack them on your command."

Monobear simply stood there during this speech, looking mostly neutral. "Well!" he answered. "If that's how you feel, then I guess I can't stop you!"

"I wouldn't try," Kirigiri agreed. "Oogami-san is, needless to say, the strongest person I have ever had the privilege of meeting. She could no doubt eradicate you if not for your apparent ability to respawn when attacked."

"Yeah!" Naegi added. "Oogami-san has amazing power, I've seen it! You can't keep her under your control!"

There were a few more similar testimonies concerning Oogami's strength and Monobear's wisdom for letting her go, as well as his cruelty and idiocy for forcing Oogami to be his mole in the first place. "I'm honestly surprised, and more than a little outraged!" Monobear noted once they were done. "I would've thought you'd all be mad at Oogami-san! I mean, she _betrayed_ you! She's a treasonous, treacherous person!"

"No, she's a loyal person and a warrior!" Asahina disagreed, pointing critically at Monobear as if she could shoot a death ray from her finger. "All she wanted was to protect her family, and you exploited and took advantage of her for that!"

"Asahina, you needn't take my side," Oogami assured her, looking down at the floor with her arms still crossed.

"Of course I'm on your side, Sakura-chan!" Asahina replied, hugging her as best she could with as small as she was. "You had a hard choice to make, and we don't think any less of you for what you did! Right, guys?"

"Absolutely!" Ishimaru affirmed. "Oogami-kun was not at fault for this, Monobear was! He manipulated Oogami-kun into being his personal servant!"

"Yeah, are you satisfied, shitfuck?" Oowada demanded, turning a withering glare on Monobear. "Preying on that girl's need to protect her family?! You know how fucking _offensive_ that is?"

"You made a bad move, Monobear," Celes informed him, pulling at her hair again. "Do you know what you've shown us by making Oogami-san your mole?"

Togami finished for her: "That you don't actually have the resources, at least as far as muscle, to accomplish whatever your ultimate goal is here. You needed Oogami to do your heavy lifting for you, so to speak."

"And now that Oogami Sakura-dono won't work for you anymore, you're helpless!" Yamada concluded with a grin.

"So, really, by telling us Oogami-san was a mole..." Fujisaki noticed.

"Y-you actually h-helped us, and hurt y-yourself," Fukawa finished with a sideways look at Monobear.

"So really, Monobear, was this 'motive' really worth it?" Kirigiri asked with a half-grin.

Monobear stood on the raised platform, taking the abuse, before letting out a high-pitched sound that sounded a little like "MMMMMAAAAAAAAA!" After regaining his composure, he continued: "Fine! Fine, this motive didn't work, I get it! But don't think this is over! I'll have a new motive for you by tomorrow, got it?!"

He disappeared into thin air the way he usually did. The students watched the platform to make sure he wasn't planning to suddenly return with something else ridiculous to say before relaxing a bit.

"That was...pretty big stuff," Hagakure concluded. "I mean, it's great nobody died, but...I could've gone without anyone knowing about my experiments."

"And I didn't exactly need you all to know about my swim meet," Asahina agreed, folding her arms and biting her lip.

"Still, we got through it," Naegi reminded them, scuffing his feet on the gymnasium floor. "And it proves that we're strong, right? We know we can get through anything Monobear throws at us now."

"Yeah!" Yamada cheered. "I say this calls for a celebratory lunch!"

"Y-you think everything c-calls for a celebratory lunch," Fukawa remarked.

"I agree with Yamada-kun," Celes simpered with her fingers interlocked and held under her chin. "We shall prepare _moules à la crème Normande._ "

Everyone stared at her momentarily. "Wow, that's kind of," Asahina replied.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, this was infinitely longer than I expected it to be, and I was completely lost on how to do the ending. Hopefully it still looked okay, though! Thanks for reading.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] Wow, That's Kind Of](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8753620) by [Inkyrius](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inkyrius/pseuds/Inkyrius)




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